Guys, What's Doing Your Head In?

 

CALM is a charity aimed to help raise awareness of suicide amongst men. Research suggests that those that fall into the 15–35 year old age bracket are at risk of falling prey to suicide. Suicide is the biggest killer of men aged 15-34 in the UK averaging out at about 3 deaths a day. We want fewer deaths. We want to get the message out that Being silent isn't being strong! It's stronger to get help in hard times.
If you need to talk to someone you can call the CALM Helpline on 0800 58 58 58 (Open: Sat to Tues: 5pm til Midnight).
Even if you are a woman, you can still call the number. They are open to anyone.

Image copyright of Kim-Leng Hills 2010 ©. All Rights Reserved.

MEN: It's incredibly difficult to confront things that you're scared of; things that have been milling around in your head for days, weeks, months, perhaps even years. Stuff that you've analysed down to the nth so much that you've written off almost every single chance of ever talking to someone about it, thinking that your friends or family will just laugh at you. Say you're an idiot or that you're nuts. How all you want is that person to just say, "Actually, it's okay. You're not an idiot, you're not mental, you're actually going to be okay."

We've all been there for our friends or family at some point, helped them get through things that have been an intense struggle for them. Sometimes, people have done things for others without even realising how much of an impact they're having on the other person's life. For example, I never ask anyone to go to the hospital with me because I'm so used to dealing with it alone, but when someone does come, or I've bumped into someone on the street afterwards, it's the biggest relief to just see someone smile at me or give me the warmest hug. We don't even have to talk about what's happened or how I feel, it's just their presence and their relaxing essence. It could even just be a stranger, and it immediately calms me and stops my mind from buzzing with fear of the past X amount of hours of being in a scary place.

When we're scared, we automatically seek comfort in things or we get on the defensive out of fear of getting hurt even more. It's being the defensive side of self-preservation which can in fact turn out to being the most destructive. Our minds take us on these crazy mental journeys of paranoia and over analysing everything, especially when you find yourself on wikipedia, typing in every symptom of something you fear you may have. But the internet can be quite useful when it comes to situations like these: 

The Campaign Against Living Miserably fight hard to save the male. The campaign was launched as a pilot by the Dept of Health in Manchester on Dec 15th 1997, and then rolled to Merseyside, Cumbria and later Luton & Bedfordshire. In 2004 the Dept of Health announced the end of the pilot. However, those involved on the ground felt it was important the line was continued, and c.a.l.m. the charity was launched March 31st 2006 with ads on MTV and posters and billboards provided by JCDecaux, Clear Channel and Viacom across England in April and May 2006.

Working with people from the music, sport and club scenes, c.a.l.m. encourages young men to 'open up' and sort out their problems. c.a.l.m. has a strong and very real presence through club flyers, posters, beermats, gigs and in the media.

There are many reasons why young men need a campaign like c.a.l.m.. Everyone has their own life, with different interests, circumstances, pressures and problems. But men aren't supposed to talk about stuff, so it can be hard to know where or who to go for help when life gets on top of them.

There is pressure on men to deal with problems on their own. To be strong and silent. It can be hard to talk about personal things - especially with family or friends - and things that start off as little niggles can easily grow into big issues that get in the way of life.

The important thing to remember is that if you are feeling down, isolated or generally pissed off, you are not alone. It happens to everyone at some time in their lives. But you have to deal with it, otherwise will become overwhelming.

CALM's helpline is free if you call on a landline - it doesn't show up on landline phone bills. It's also confidential and anonymous. Your call will be answered by trained advisors, who can help you work through your problems and start to sort things out. They can give you information about places to go locally to get more help. Alternatively, if you live outside the CALMzones, they can give you details of nationally available services instead.

 Even if you know of someone who maybe having difficulties and believe they need extra support or to just be pointed in the right direction, the website for CALM is a great help and also gives support for those who are friends of those in need.

The main point is that Being silent ISN'T being strong, that talking about things can and will help; it's very easy to get sucked into your own thoughts and when moments get increasingly desperate, suicide often comes to being the permanent solution to a temporary problem.