Memo Logs

So today my flat’s been sprayed by a man who has pet rats and a Chihuahua. I can’t mop or hoover for 10 days, and I apparently made him the best coffee he’s ever had.

I just heard a woman ask if the ice cream man sold sorbet. He’s now complaining to the guy selling the Daily Express that she didn’t want anything he had to offer.

An old lady just smiled and stroked my face and said I look lovely. She was rooting through her bag saying “I don’t have a penny”, to which I said “I don’t have a penny either”.

My clothes are currently being drowned in a laundrette. £5 for a fat ol drum and £1 for a 20min tumble dry. And dear God this is a holding pen for doctors and other hospital-esque workers. It’s either that or it’s all the patients hanging out here getting drunk to drown sorrows before taking a train.